UNAPPETIZING POST - Cleaning your shower drain

The shower in our master bedroom has been draining poorly for a while now. For the past week, I have been treating it with Bio-Clean, an eco-friendly, bacteria-based substance that is supposed to eat up all the organic materials that clog drains and also not hurt the seals or puppies or guppies or whatever. I have had good results with Bio-Clean in the past, but the situation has been pointing towards a plumber-call. I am against this because I just had to break down and call Mr. Handyman after a Fail Drapery incident, and I am a common law homemaker, dammit, so I plucked up my courage and suppressed my gag reflex and WENT IN THERE.

I put on a rubber kitchen glove (I love rubber kitchen gloves). I picked up a screwdriver and a wire hanger, with the hook part bent haphazardly. I unscrewed the floor drain on the shower...and, in three parts, dragged out a clump of hair equivalent in size to THREE DEAD RATS. Mind you, I was already pretty grossed out after Clump Retrieval Part One, for which I only used my gloved hand. Then I had to use the hook and boy was I unhappy about it. When there was nothing else to retrieve, I looked at my three-dead-rat-sized clump and tried not to hurl. Then I grabbed a plastic Walgreen's bag, did the dog-poop-pickup bag reversal move with the clump, threw the heavily soiled kitchen glove in there for good measure (hey - a single kitchen glove is still much less expensive than a visit from the plumber), tied it off and threw the whole mess into the garbage, shuddering.

If a wuss like me can clean her shower drain, so can you, following the above easy steps.

PS: If I didn't have so much hair left on my head, I would be disturbed by the sheer volume of hair that I clearly lost in order to create those three dead rats. I heard recently that pregnant ladies don't lose much hair, and if that is true, I am clearly going to look exactly like this when and if I am lucky enough to get preggo: